The hazards of choosing a hotel

I’m trying to chose a hotel in Hamburg for the first night on my trip up to Denmark and Norway. Of course I want somewhere where Bertha will be safe – if I can’t bring her into my room. The Motel Hamburg (automatically or unwisely) has this customer review on its home page. Even in German you get the idea:
“Absolute Katastrophe, das “Hotel” hat völlig veraltete, liederliche Ausstattung zum völlig überhöhten Preis. !sehr unzufrieden! Alle angekündigten Services haben gefehlt (Parkplatz, WLAN…) Nie wieder!”
I don’t think I’ll be staying.